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Battles

My Exodus out of Pornography

Olau T.

 

21 July 2018

 

 

It began when I was a kid.

 

I might have been 10 or 11, when a couple of my mates and I first found a porn magazine in a skip. It introduced me to a new world of excitement, which only grew as I gained access to cable tv and high-speed internet in my late teens and early 20s.

 

I would use porn at home and at work, before and after I was married. I would occasionally go a couple of months without accessing porn and delude myself that I had conquered my addiction…until I dived right back in it.


Every time I used porn, I was filled with shame and I was so frustrated by my inability to overcome my addiction.

 

I professed to hate porn, but had I been more honest with myself, I might have acknowledged the benefits I was seeking from porn – the thrill to liven up a dull work day, the experience of intimacy and acceptance when something had triggered a sense of rejection.

 

The promised benefits all ended up as massive regrets – porn never really delivers – but every time I contemplated porn the promises seemed so real.

The seemingly endless cycle of using porn, experiencing shame and committing to do better finally came to an end on the 9th December 2011.

 

I had used porn the night before, and I woke up with a strong conviction from God that my porn use had to end. I confessed to my wife and sought help from a friend, who had overcome his own addiction to porn in the past.

 

In these last six and a half years I have had the joy of walking in increasing freedom from porn and experiencing healing from some of the emotional damage caused by my porn use. I know have the joy of being able to help other guys on the journey towards freedom.

That’s my story. Your story may be different, but I want to encourage you that finding freedom from porn is absolutely possible.

 

If you, or someone you know, want help, a good place to start is www.clicktokick.com. We run confidential groups for men and women, and also support partners of porn addicts. Your path to freedom can start today!

Olau
Click to Kick facilitator

 

 

 

#addiction

 

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