An abstract of Inside Out by Dr. Larry Crabb (Part 1)
“They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.
‘Peace, peace,’ they say, when there is no peace.”
Jeremiah 6:14
When prophesying the siege of Jerusalem and the Babylonian exile, Jeremiah pointed out a clear sign of sin and estrangement from God: superficiality and pretense. God’s people had developed a habit of covering their spiritual issues with a façade, pretending everything was fine when it was not. Can you see parallels to this in the 21st century?
Pretending Our Way Through Life
In his book Inside Out, Christian psychologist and counselor Dr. Larry Crabb discusses the same troubling pattern found in modern Christian communities. He argues that many of us cope with life rather than seek true transformation. The core issues of who we are and what’s happening in our hearts often remain only partially addressed.
Real transformation, as God desires, goes far deeper than cleaning up our outward behavior or maintaining appearances. God doesn’t simply want us to sweep the streets; He calls us to descend into the sewers and confront the filth hidden beneath the surface. He invites us to enter the darkest parts of our soul, to feel His presence when we are at our most vulnerable. Authentic change, as described in the Bible, doesn’t require pretending. Christ calls us to face reality as it is—our fears, hurts, resentments, and self-protective motives—and emerge as people who can love deeply, not as performers pretending to have it all together.
What Are Your Barometers of Spiritual Health?
Like the Pharisees, we often reduce sin to manageable categories and become preoccupied with meeting self-imposed standards, for ourselves and for others. As a result, we start measuring spirituality by external behaviors—such as adherence to moral rules or participation in spiritual activities—rather than by the depth of our relationships with God and others.
The deeper, more difficult issues of the soul that hinder us from connecting authentically with others are ignored. Instead, we focus on easier, more visible matters, such as social politeness or proper language, which become widely accepted indicators of spiritual health.
Too often, our obedience is driven not by a passionate desire to pursue God, but by a fear of confronting deep frustration and personal pain. When the energy behind our obedience comes from a desire to avoid pain, our souls remain closed off from true openness to God’s transformative work. Instead of inviting God to reveal what He truly desires from us, we settle for shallow routines.
Is Denying Pain Part of Your Spiritual ‘Discipline’?
In many Christian circles, there is an unspoken encouragement to maintain a comfortable distance from internal struggles. There is a remarkable resistance to acknowledging or owning pain. Even admitting to discouragement or fear can feel like a violation of what it means to be a “victorious” Christian. After all, a “good” Christian should always be rejoicing, right?
When teenagers struggle with resentment toward their parents or confusion about their identity, youth workers often prescribe more Bible reading or additional prayers. While these are helpful practices, they often fail to address the underlying issues. Hard questions are frequently buried under memorized verses and superficial “Christian” behavior. These unresolved struggles don’t disappear; they quietly erode our true well-being.
Many Christians, especially in conservative church settings, are “trained” to deny that they are hurting. Rarely are we asked, with sincere and penetrating interest, how we really feel. A response longer than “I’m fine, thanks” is neither expected nor encouraged. Conversations rarely invite honest, heartfelt sharing. Instead, we maintain a safe distance from one another’s emotions. The thought of confronting what’s truly going on inside feels overwhelming, so we hide our inner struggles from others—and, most tragically, from ourselves.
The Longing and Fear of Intimacy
We all carry a deep longing for intimacy, yet we are equally terrified of it. This fear is so deeply ingrained in us that we rarely stop to question it. We often measure love by how well people avoid triggering our negative emotions, avoiding deeper connection. This mindset keeps us isolated and hinders our growth.
Only the Gospel speaks against this way of living. It invites us to step into the messy reality of our hearts, to stop pretending, and to experience the healing power of Christ’s love. True intimacy—with God and with others—begins when we abandon our façades, face the truth of our brokenness, and allow God to meet us in the depths of our soul.
