Inside each of us is a mental picture of God. Many Christians, even those considered deeply "spiritual," live with a significant, unconscious gap between what they believe about God intellectually and how they feel about Him emotionally. Outwardly, we may serve God faithfully and teach others about His love and promises, but inwardly, we struggle to apply these truths to our own personal battles.
This disconnect can be a hidden spiritual illness that undermines a Christian’s spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being. In his book Healing of Memories, counselor and pastor David Seamands explains how this conflict between our intellectual and emotional understanding of God is the root cause of many emotional struggles. This hidden pain can run so deep that we feel confused when we react to life’s challenges with depression, anxiety, or resentment. We experience spiritual defeat because we think Christians shouldn't have emotional problems.
When this happens, spiritual disciplines like prayer or Bible study often seem ineffective. We feel even more bewildered because we can’t identify where these negative emotions are coming from. Deep within us, a river of resentment flows from a hidden spring of unhealed emotions and buried memories.
One of the most painful and shocking experiences for devout Christians is discovering feelings of anger toward God. Admitting this is extremely difficult. These believers love God deeply, so the realization that they harbor resentment toward Him can be devastating.
Seamands argues that no matter how much sound theology we know, we cannot experience lasting spiritual victory until we truly feel that God is good. Many pastors and leaders assume that teaching correct doctrine will automatically clear up confusion about God and inspire wholehearted trust in Him. But this is far from reality.
Much of our struggle to love and trust God stems from seeing Him as unlovable or untrustworthy. Our anger is often not directed at the real God but at a distorted image of Him. For example, we might feel unforgivable—not because God hasn’t forgiven us, but because we’ve internalized a sense of unworthiness from past relationships. When we ask people to trust God, we often assume they see Him as a loving Father who has their best interests at heart. However, deep down, they may feel as though they’re surrendering to a harsh, demanding figure who only wants to make their lives miserable. This distorted view worsens their struggles and makes trusting God even harder.
Our inability to trust God may be a sign that we need emotional healing. God created us with an instinct to avoid things we fear—an important survival mechanism. When we perceive danger, our body reacts with defense mechanisms to protect us. This same mechanism can keep us from trusting God if we associate Him with fear or pain.
In his book In Two Minds, Os Guinness uses a compelling analogy: Imagine a person with a strong hand capable of gripping objects firmly. But if that hand has an open, infected wound, even the simplest grip becomes unbearably painful. Similarly, Christians with unhealed emotional scars may desire to trust God but find it too painful to surrender completely. The emotional wounds sabotage their ability to hold on to God’s promises.
When we try to force ourselves to trust God without addressing these wounds, we put pressure on unresolved pain that only worsens. These deep emotional scars overpower reason and undermine faith. Despite holding onto sound biblical knowledge, unresolved emotional pain can leave us spiritually and emotionally unsettled.
The Holy Spirit reveals the truth, but our perception of it is often filtered through the lens of our personality and past experiences. If past relationships have damaged our ability to trust, even biblical truths can become distorted. For all Christians—even those emotionally healthy—clarifying their understanding of God is a lifelong journey.
William James, the father of American psychology, noted that doubts about God rooted in emotions cannot be resolved by reason alone. Experience confirms this. No amount of theological study can fully dispel emotionally-driven doubts. Even when one question is resolved, another will take its place.
For example, questions about predestination, assurance of salvation, or the "unpardonable sin" may not always stem from disbelief or rebellion but rather from deep emotional wounds. These struggles often reflect emotional pain disguised as theological confusion. True healing and a renewed understanding of Scripture can only come after addressing these inner hurts.
Thankfully, God understands our struggles and desires to heal us. In his book May I Hate God?, Pierre Wolff reveals how feelings of anger and resentment toward God don’t separate us from Him but can become a doorway to deeper intimacy.
Emotions must be acknowledged before they can be released. Instead of pressuring struggling Christians to simply "trust God more," we should gently guide them to recognize and process their buried anger and pain. Bringing these hurts into God’s presence allows Him to heal us with His love. Forgiveness and the experience of being forgiven go hand in hand, and together they bring true freedom. Remembering and feeling are necessary steps to breakthrough healing.
An honest prayer can be a powerful start: "Lord, I trust You with my inability to trust You." This isn’t just wordplay—it’s a profound shift in mindset. It’s the same honesty Jesus honored when the desperate father prayed, "Help me overcome my unbelief!" (Mark 9:24). By bringing our brokenness to God, we open ourselves to His transformative healing.
